Average dating time before getting engaged
And even though there are no official “rules” about how long you should date, there are some milestones you probably want to get to before taking the plunge.
“One of the biggest issues as to why people end up getting a divorce is differing value systems,” says Pachler.
Research shows that there’s truth to the adage ‘love is blind,’ where the critical thinking parts of the brain shut down during infatuation.” That maybe sounds a little familiar, right?
“Even if we recognize what we don’t like about our date or partner, we can sweep those things aside and minimize their importance because of infatuation, but when it fades, that’s when those things can potentially become problematic.” So while 12 to 18 months is just an estimate, the most important thing here is that you’ve been together long enough to take off those rose-colored glasses.
Happy couples aren’t without conflict, but they handle their arguments differently than unhappy couples.” In fact, getting through the infatuation phase can actually lead to conflicts, and those are really important to address.
People don’t change just because they get married.” True that.
So there you have it: When it comes to marriage, there are no formulas that will tell you exactly how long you should date based on your age, past relationship experience or anything else.
“Some people, regardless of age, choose the same type of person over and over again without knowing why.
If you’re going after a type that isn’t a good fit, it’s good to understand why before you commit to marrying someone.
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This can be exciting and fun in the beginning of a relationship, but it can lead to frustration if they want the person to ‘settle down’ and schedule things in advance.