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To make an analogy, imagine you heard people say over and over, “Waitresses at Denny’s restaurants hate black guys.” Now ask yourself whose opinion on this would matter: An individual waitress who works at one Denny’s, a random customer who’s gone to Denny’s a few times, or a black guy who’s gone to Denny’s twice a day everyday for three years straight in every state in the entire country?
Obviously the black guy is the only person who can truly know what it’s like to be a black guy right?
Not all Asian cultures are the same, but most have commonalities that are similar or consistent in most.
Views on sex, status, interracial dating, affection in public, marriage, humor and even talking to strangers can be taboo.
Accepting the fact that you’re just a lonely confused guy is too hard, so it’s just easier to rationalize that the girl kissing her boyfriend in the street is just a slut.
A Japanese man will browse a porn DVD store, go home and masturbate all day, then walk outside and see a girl kissing me and instantly go, “This girl should be ashamed for liking sex” — it’s pure hypocrisy and insanity.
I recently asked a Pakistani girl out and she said "i prefer to date a white boy" why is that? It probably because they think they can get farer with white guys? I am exactly the same, I completely understand what she means.
If they display or admit at all that they want or even like sex or touch, they risk being seen as a “slut” — in Japan they’re called a “bitch” or in China/HK, a “public toilet.” Their sense of self is at risk, and their reputation is at risk if they show an interest in sex.
Disturbing examples of this are girls who spontaneously begin crying after kissing me for the first time, then holding me crying saying “I want kiss but feel shame,” or girls telling stories about their fear of friends talking about them and hurting their reputation.
Also a black guy who’s gone to Denny’s many many times would have even a more accurate opinion on the matter.
That being said, telling me, a white guy, how people respond to me romantically when you yourself are not a white guy automatically makes your opinion have less weight than mine — this is obvious but often a forgotten point.
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Talking slowly, removing words (like determiners), and using non-verbal communication (facial expression, pointing) adds an entire level of challenges.